Macintips and Shopping Carts

You have your new purchase. You tear off the impossible to remove, unbelievably sticky tape that then insists on fastening itself to your fingers, laying siege to your dexterity whilst simultaneously increasing your impatience. Finally it's off. You prize open the flaps and peer inside, as though you were opening the ark, almost expecting rays of dazzling sunlight to cascade from the now gaping hole. You delve in and retrieve your prize. A shiny new Apple MacBook. No time for reading any instructions, you fumble through the beautifully designed packaging searching frantically for the power pack and attachable plug. You plug one end into a wall socket, removing any unnecessary appliances, such as telephones, table lamps, or televisions. You connect the other end to the MacBook. You flip the lid, and press the power button. A reassuring chime emanates from the tiny speakers, and you breathe a sigh of relief. It works. Like an expert fully in control, you confidently click on each question the automated system setup asks of you , until....what's this? Do I have an existing email address? How would I like to connect to the internet? You pause. Then, seeing the savior at the bottom of the screen, you cautiously click "continue, add internet later." And so, we suddenly stumble across the age old question. "How do I connect this to the internet?" This is something that friends and family members frequently ask me whenever they've spent their hard earned pennies on a new computer. The answer is to do the following, which will save you the pain of a long and tedious call to BT, whilst trying to fathom where on earth the "secret" codes are that you have to input into your wireless security option. For this example, I will use BT to illustrate how to connect. There are many providers out there, but BT tends to be one of the most prevalent.

The first step is to make sure your BT Home Hub is up and running and all the lights (Data, Internet, Broadband, Wireless) are lit. Turn your Hub around and make a note of the 10-character BT Home Hub Wireless key, and not the BT Fusion key which is normally found underneath.

With your Mac up and running, go to the dock, and click System Preferences. You will be presented with a screen that has many items in it, including Mouse, Security, Dock and Appearance. The item we're interested in is Network. Click on Network. Under the ‘Show’ dropdown, select Network Port Configurations. Ensure that Airport is checked.

Click ‘Apply Now’ and close System Preferences. Click Airport on and select the BT Home Hub network entry, which by default will be something similar to BTHomeHub-13F8.

When prompted for the password, make sure that the Wireless Security dropdown is set to “WEP 40/128-bit hex” – then enter the 10-character key that you'd noted from the rear of the HomeHub earlier, and as if by Magic, your shiny new Mac will connect to your wireless network.

Launch Safari to test the connection. You should see an Apple.com page.

Welcome to the internet, you're now able to browse and surf at your leisure. In no time at all you will be internet banking, and maybe even internet grocery shopping. Which brings me onto something that has struck and bewildered me for sometime now.

Being the archetypal hunter gatherer, I tend to do the dreaded weekly grocery expedition. Armed with a list of things my offspring have demanded, I wander into my local Sainsbury's with an air of defiance, keeping an eagle eye out for the best possible offers, whilst also trying not to stumble into the marketing trap of "buy 3 for only £10" offers that assail me from every aisle. I complete my mission in a little under 8 hours, and, shopping cart brimming with my haul, I drag it bodily across the car park to my waiting car. Once loaded, like a good shopper, I go to return my shopping cart to the little shopping cart enclosure, where I like to think all the other shopping carts gather to share a little gossip. This is when my otherwise idyllic adventure becomes a shattered reality.

Some idiot, probably someone that's single, or only does their shopping once a day, has inserted the halfsize "singletons" shopping cart into a full sized "family" shopping cart. I have nothing against people that are single, or idiots for that matter. And I'm certainly not suggesting that one makes you the other, but I think this a good way of differentiating between the sizes of shopping cart. I digress. Now, of course, they've recovered their £1 from the locking mechanism, so there's no chance of removing the offending cart, unless of course I insert £1, unlock it, insert my shopping cart, remove my £1 from that, and then take the "singleton" cart and place that in the correct line, and recover my £1. No, I don't do this, because my blood is already boiling, and my eyes are already scanning the scene of the crime for the perpetrators of this terrible act.

So, off I trot to the next shopping cart enclosure, at least 30 whole seconds away from my previous target, with thoughts running through my mind of "why?" and " I wonder if they're watching for all the disgruntled shoppers that have to make the extra 30 second journey to the next enclosure, and what kind of perverse pleasure do they gain from this?" On returning home, I mention to my wife that hanging or the birch would be too good for people that dare to play such cruel and thoughtless jokes on otherwise happy shoppers. Because of this I drone on about the failing standards of the education system, the government, and how horrid people can be, for absolutely no apparent reason. And all because of a minor shopping cart incident. How quickly the human mood can change, and how frail simple happiness can be. Sympathetically, she suggests that maybe I sit down and shut up, whilst she makes me a cup of tea.....So I sit, and silently plan my revenge on the shopping cart criminals!



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